"I'll find someone like you..."

Well this is my first update in 9 months, now if this blog were a baby I'd be ready to push it out may vadge and share it with the rest of the world.  However I don't think I'm quite ready to push it out so I'll just close my legs and wait till its ready.  But I will keep typing away till that day finally arrives.

A lot of things have happened since we last left our hero...I've gotten a new job, adopted a cat, managed to eat  most of my feelings and still found time to not develop my social life.  Whew...ok now that we've done that now we can move on.

One of the big things on my mind is the fact that next summer I will be turning the big 30 or rather I will be turning 29 again.  Its a big number to turn and it brings a lot of perceived baggage with it.  Not just the usual "Gay life ends at 30" idea but also the fact that up until now I have given no thought to what my life would be like when I hit this milestone.  When I was younger I used to think about what it would be like to be 21 or 25 but 30 never even occurred to me at all.  Its like I would just fall off the face of the earth or something, still young and pretty(ish).  Since I have no preconceived notions about 30, I have no idea if I'm happy with where my life is at this point.  Sure I managed to move to the big apple and meet some interesting people, find a job that supports me and my lifestyle.  But what should I really have accomplished so far as to be able to say that I'm on track.  Plus there is the nagging feeling that I'm far behind where I should be...I still don't have a college degree, no man prospects anywhere on the horizons and if I get knocked up now I will be almost 50 when they finish high school.  Talk about feeling like a Debbie Downer.  I know that I'm still young(ish) and that my life isn't even half over, assuming that I live to be over 60, but I still think that there were a lot of things that I just never got around to doing and now I'm kinda too old.  I know that you can always be a kid at heart, but that will only take you so far.  I guess I'll just have to keep turning 29...